Friend

What is a Friend?

Webster defines friend as:
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem 2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)4 : a favored companion

Webster defines perceived as:
1 a : to attain awareness or understanding of
b : to regard as being such 2 : to become aware of through the senses;

Webster defines acquaintance as:
1 a : the state of being acquainted
b : personal knowledge : familiarity2 a : the persons with whom one is acquainted
b : a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend

According to Mr. Webster, I’d say a friend is some you enjoy being around, feel close to and think highly of.

Recently I’ve found myself reflecting quite a bit on friends or maybe I should say perceived friends. The idea of a friend is not complex; however, being a friend can be.

It is so easy to introduce others as your friend, but are they really? Sometimes it’s one-sided. Or maybe they are just an acquaintance? How do you discern the difference? Is the word “friend” used too liberally? Regardless, it can be heartbreaking to find out that perception is often not reality. When that happens how do you pick up the pieces and go on? How do you protect your heart and spirit while continuing to be open, loving, caring, etc.? Is that even possible? Especially when you are called to minister to others?

When reality comes knocking, often times there will be questions that plague us such as: “Why”, “What did I do”, “What could I have done differently”, etc. or personal indictments such as: “I’m not good enough”, “It’s all my fault”, “I should have been a better friend”, “I should have . . .”, etc. Or you may get angry and feel betrayed: “They only come around when they want something”, “I’m only good enough when they have a problem”, etc. How do we steer clear of this path?

Do real friends exist? Where are they? How do you prevent yourself from withdrawing and donning protective armor?

Our God is a relational God that knows how important others are to us. He came to this earth, was perfect, and yet not everyone was his friend. How can that be? Seems far fetched but if our perfect God was not befriended by all, how can we expect to? While our minds tell us this – it does nothing to diminish the pain that comes from such rejection.

True friends are rare and we should cherish them!

Some words of wisdom from God’s Word:

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Proverbs 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.

Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 12:26
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 19:6
Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts.

Proverbs 20:6
Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

Proverbs 18:19
An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.

Proverbs 11:9
With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous.