Friend

What is a Friend?

Webster defines friend as:
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem 2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)4 : a favored companion

Webster defines perceived as:
1 a : to attain awareness or understanding of
b : to regard as being such 2 : to become aware of through the senses;

Webster defines acquaintance as:
1 a : the state of being acquainted
b : personal knowledge : familiarity2 a : the persons with whom one is acquainted
b : a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend

According to Mr. Webster, I’d say a friend is some you enjoy being around, feel close to and think highly of.

Recently I’ve found myself reflecting quite a bit on friends or maybe I should say perceived friends. The idea of a friend is not complex; however, being a friend can be.

It is so easy to introduce others as your friend, but are they really? Sometimes it’s one-sided. Or maybe they are just an acquaintance? How do you discern the difference? Is the word “friend” used too liberally? Regardless, it can be heartbreaking to find out that perception is often not reality. When that happens how do you pick up the pieces and go on? How do you protect your heart and spirit while continuing to be open, loving, caring, etc.? Is that even possible? Especially when you are called to minister to others?

When reality comes knocking, often times there will be questions that plague us such as: “Why”, “What did I do”, “What could I have done differently”, etc. or personal indictments such as: “I’m not good enough”, “It’s all my fault”, “I should have been a better friend”, “I should have . . .”, etc. Or you may get angry and feel betrayed: “They only come around when they want something”, “I’m only good enough when they have a problem”, etc. How do we steer clear of this path?

Do real friends exist? Where are they? How do you prevent yourself from withdrawing and donning protective armor?

Our God is a relational God that knows how important others are to us. He came to this earth, was perfect, and yet not everyone was his friend. How can that be? Seems far fetched but if our perfect God was not befriended by all, how can we expect to? While our minds tell us this – it does nothing to diminish the pain that comes from such rejection.

True friends are rare and we should cherish them!

Some words of wisdom from God’s Word:

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Proverbs 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.

Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 12:26
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 19:6
Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts.

Proverbs 20:6
Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

Proverbs 18:19
An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.

Proverbs 11:9
With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous.

Girl Talk Wednesday

Tell me a dirty little secret of yours - Haley won

Girl Talk Wednesday

What do you think MY favorite GTW post was?...and Who won that post?

Things that make you smile. The winner was me.

Or it could have been how you met and married your spouse. I think that was me as well.

Oh this is bad - hope I win!!!

Girl Talk Wednesday

What was my favorite GTW Topic?

I really liked the creative way to convey 3 things you are thankful for. I loved all the pics Brittany had posted. One of these days, I want to learn how to do that!!!

I will miss GTW even though I didn't always participate or on time.

Girl Talk Wednesday

I seem to be cutting it close on these days!
Topic:
Tell me something that makes you laugh (no text)...and not about your husband or kids!

I read this on an email and thought it was HILARIOUS!

Girl Talk Wednesday

How did I meet Ron, how did we get engagend, and what was our wedding like?

Ron and I actually met in the 7th grade. We were child hood sweethearts. We went our seperate ways for a few years but always remained close friends. Then in our junior year of high school Ron started confiding in me about issues he had with his current girl friend. Well - to be honest - she wasn't all that and I thought he needed to dump her. So as I counseled him on this issue, he began to see how she wasn't good for him. Within a couple of weeks, we were dating.

Engagement . . . well we seemed to know that we were going to get married. I'm not sure how it happened but it just seemed to be understood. One night on the way home from a date, I realized that Ron had never formally asked me to marry him and pointed that out to him. So he pulled the car over on the side of the road and proposed.

Wedding . . . My mother was not involved in planning my wedding at all. I was a senior in high school trying to do it on my own. Needless to say, it had issues. Our colors were green and yellow. My future mother-in-law and I made the bridesmaid dresses. My godmother bought my wedding dress. A friend from church made our wedding cake. A friend from work took our pictures. Ron's grandmother made all the flowers. A childhood pastor married us at a little bitty country church. My mother made ham, potatoe salad, and beans for the reception that was held at our little house out in the country. I had a maid of honor and three bridesmaids. My little sister was the flower girl. My nephew was the ring bearer. My two sister-in-laws were the candlelighters. My mother was 1/2 hour late getting to the wedding - so it started late. My step-dads watch started playing "The Yellow Rose of Texas" in the middle of the ceremony - the only problem is that we were living in Missouri! One of my bridesmaids had altered her dress prior to the wedding and we had to quickly make some changes to put it back like it was. And last but not least - no one ever told me that I needed to watch the time of month so that came as well!

Oh well - that was 27 1/2 years ago so it seems to have lasted regardless of all the mishaps!

For our 25th wedding anniversary our daughters helped make it a special occasion as we renewed our vows. Brittany planned and organized a beautiful ceremony followed by a wonderful dinner / reception at Salt Grass. We had several special friends come from Arkansas as well as my work to be a part of this celebration. Ron rented the tux he wore in Britt's wedding and I bought a new dress from Davids' Bridal. Ron and I stayed away the night before so the girls could decorate our house (where the ceremony was held). Shawnda fixed my hair and helped with the logistics of getting people from one location to the other. After the dinner, we all went to the motel where we were staying and swam in the pool! It was a very special day!!!!

Girl Talk Wednesday

Last week:
Tell me a dirty little secret of yours! To help out in keeping this a secret, you can tell me two lies and one truth...the truth is your REAL secret!
My answer:

I'm afraid! Of many things. Not being what God has called me to be. Not being the wife I should be to my husband or the mother my daughters need or a Godly grandmother for my little Ethan and Titus? What is in store for our future? Where will God call us to go. Will my family be close? Will they (anyone) like me? These are only few of my fears. And while I know that God is here and sufficient - I still struggle.